gathered “confuzzled”
a silly fabrication
shiny word crow find 
(4.12.2012)

Mel used the word “confuzzled” to describe how he felt about something.  I found it a terribly clever and funny conglomeration of confused and puzzled, tucking it away for future use.

I work with Mel at the auto auction, he’s one of my bosses.  Gathering “confuzzled” happened to also coincide with several of my coworkers chiding me for using “big words.”  I don’t remember now what words I used, but I know it happened often enough that inwardly I began to cringe when someone else would repeat the offending word. (“Vernacular?”)  I was embarrassed they had noticed my word choice and was reminded of middle school, where the moniker “brain” was unkindly used in reference to me.

Even if the ornithologist at Cornell disagrees, it is widely accepted that crows enjoy finding and keeping shiny objects.  This image of the crow came to me while journaling about the somewhat painful experience of coworkers at the auction noticing my vocabulary.

The truth is, I’ve always loved words.  When I was a very small child, I would often be lulled to sleep by images of detailed and overlapping words swimming in my inner vision.  These images were accompanied by a pleasant and unusual feeling of floating movement, all of which arrived moments before I would be carried off to my dreams.

This love of words is so much a part of me that I hadn’t really noticed it until this past week when Mel’s silly word “confuzzled” corresponded with curious looks and remarks regarding my word choice.  I am grateful for this experience – turning something uncomfortable into an opportunity for me to appreciate my innate love of words.